Polianiac

Room With a View, November 25, 2008 

I stood there in Safeway, staring into the freezer, strategically located in the middle of the Butcher Block section. There they were — all ready for Thanksgiving; a freezer full of Butterball victims.  I could not shake the mental picture, running through my head, of Sarah Palin standing in front of a Turkey Guillotine… If that were not enough, there were all those books I have been forced to read, starting with “Chicken” an expose of the chicken farming industry. That ripped it. The whole turkey scene has definitely lost its appeal this year.

As I left that area of the store, I knew I had to do something to replace the vile, disgusting mental images now dominating my every thought.  I looked down at my list, in hopes of merely changing the subject—there I saw “eggs”…  Oh joy!

By now, I imagined myself going holiday postal on the Dairy Aisle: “Straightjacket on Aisle 12 for the blonde raving lunatic, screaming obscenities against all poultry and poultry products!” Vegan suddenly seemed a viable alternative. Then I thought about Addams Family Values (1993) with Pugsley Addams dressed up as a turkey singing, “EAT ME!”

There it was: my Thanksgiving Theme Song.  I made it to the check out without further incident… Enjoy!