Dec 01 2008
The Story of Us While The Band Played On
1983 was a watershed year for “Us”. “Us” represents my inner circle of friends, those people who daily share life’s ups and downs, trials and tribulations, victories and defeats… 1983 was the year we all got pregnant. It was also a time when something loomed large on our horizon. We did not know what it was and it did not have a name. All we knew was it was bad and many people were dying. It seemed to be connected with blood and the blood supply. Oh, there were rumors about a “gay plague”; or some other God-sent curse on mankind. To “us” those types of ideas were idiotic, reflecting some fundamentalism that was not relevant to our lives, our projects, and certainly not our religious practices—which at the time was known as Wesleyan.
The point is, we were pregnant; and we were not going to take any chances. Our doctors thought we were paranoid, hormonal maniacs; yet that did not deter us. We did our own research and became convinced we needed a plan. If something happened, throughout these pregnancies, what could we do to protect ourselves and the precious babies we carried? We came up with a plan to form our own “blood donor group”. We paid for individual blood testing and cross-matching. Two of us were O-negatives; greatly aiding our cause. Together we formed a circle.
We sat in the hospital waiting rooms, sweating out each and every birth. Our doctors knew of the plan, and reluctantly supported this first (and certainly not final) act of over-protection. We were all blessed as the plan was never called into practice.
Those days seem like an eternity ago. Those babies are all in their mid-twenties now. Yet, today, AIDS still haunts the lives of millions. The history of AIDS in this country is important. It is important because of the lesson it teaches about society in denial. My children were four years old before President Reagan actually spoke the word “AIDS” (1987).
If you have not read Randy Shilts’ (2000) book And the Band Played On you should. It is a well documented story of us, and a history that must never be repeated.
From HBO’s And the Band Played On:
Great post!
The continued lack of education and resources available is truly appalling.
I can’t fault you for reacting the way you did back in the day…I grew up maybe three towns away from Ryan White (remember that name?), and we were all freaked out over nothing.